You wake up and check the time…
You see you got seven or maybe eight hours of sleep.
Yet somehow… you feel like you barely slept at all.
Your body is heavy. Your mind is slow. By noon, you’re reaching for another coffee just to function.
And the worst part? You think this is normal.
It’s not.
Your sleep is broken. And the culprit? The one thing nobody talks about?
Nighttime cortisol…That prevents you from going into “deep sleep”, or Rapid-Eye-Movement (REM) sleep.
After reading this article, you’ll know EXACTLY what’s probably keeping you from getting the BEST sleep ever of your whole life.
What REM Sleep Actually Does
Think of your brain like a messy office at the end of the day.
Papers everywhere, emails unread, tasks half-finished.
The more clutter that builds up, the harder it is to function the next day.
REM sleep is your overnight cleaning crew.
It’s when your brain flushes out toxins, strengthens neural connections, and resets your energy levels.
ALL the good stuff that repairs your mind and body, and keeps you active the next day.
If you want to take a look at the “science” behind REM sleep, check this article out.
How Cortisol Destroys Your REM Sleep
Your body wasn’t designed to sleep deeply when it thinks you’re in danger.
Cortisol is your body’s stress alarm system. It keeps you awake, alert, and ready to react.
That’s great if you’re being chased by a tiger…or if you’re hunting mammoths like what peope used to do 50,000 years ago…
But…here’s the problem:
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between real danger and modern stress.
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That late-night work email that triggered you?
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The never-ending to-do list running in your head?
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The news cycle that makes you feel like the world is ending?
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The doomscrolling on Instagram that keeps you wired until 2 AM?
ALL of it tricks your brain into thinking you’re still in a fight.
High stress = high cortisol.
High cortisol = your nervous system stuck in “stay alert” mode.
And when that happens? Your REM sleep is fried.
Instead of drifting into deep sleep, your body stays in a wide awake, restless state. You wake up feeling groggy, drained, and ironically more stressed than before.
How to Fix It: Shut Down Cortisol Before Bed
If you want to wake up actually feeling rested, you don’t need more sleep.
You need “better sleep”
And that starts by killing cortisol before bed.
And here are three steps on how you could get it done easily.
1. Shut Your Brain Off with Breathwork
Your nervous system has two modes:
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Fight-or-flight (stress, alertness, survival mode)
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Rest-and-recover (deep sleep, repair, relaxation)
If you’re in fight-or-flight, your body will NEVER let you enter deep sleep.
And the fastest way to go into “rest” is by controlling the way you breathe. .
It’s called the physiological sigh.
A technique backed by neuroscience that instantly lowers your heart rate, reduces cortisol, and signals your body to calm down.
We’ve written a guide that can help you do it the right way. Check it out here.
2. Get Thoughts Out of Your Head
Have you ever laid in bed at night, tried to sleep, and felt your brain is still running at full speed for hours?
That’s because your brain hates unfinished loops...or what we call open loops.
Open loops happen when your brain has thoughts it thinks are “important”.
99% of the time, it might be something about your work or things happening around you.
No matter what it is, the easiest way to “close” those loops is to write them down.
If you don’t offload thoughts somewhere, they’ll keep cycling all night.
Here’s how you get this done in 60 seconds:
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Grab a notebook.
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Write everything that’s in your head. No structure. No neat paragraphs. Just DUMP THEM OUT.
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Close the notebook.
Your brain sees that as “handled.” Now it can relax and sleep.
3. Create a Shutdown Ritual (and Actually Stick to It)
Your body needs a strong signal that the day is over.
Something consistent. Something that tells your brain,
“it’s time to shut off.”
Here are some things that can help
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A warm shower lowers cortisol, preps your body for sleep.
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Reading a book. A REAL book. NOT on a screen.
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ASMR can help with this too. Make sure it is a “sound effect” (like water flowing, ocean sounds, train noises), and NOT a human talking.
Just pick something and stick with it.
Your brain needs repetition to recognize and say “Okay, we’re winding down now.”
Fix Your REM Sleep, Fix Your Life
Right now, you’re sleeping, but not ærecovering”.
Your body is lying in bed, but your brain is stuck in stress & survival mode.
And if you don’t fix it?
You’ll keep waking up tired and you’ll keep relying on caffeine to function.
And in the long term, poor sleep makes you age faster than you should.
But you don’t have to accept this.
Shut your brain off before bed.
.
And let your body finally get the deep REM sleep it needs.
Try it tonight. You’ll feel the difference by morning.
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